Randomness at Random #19 Thanksgiving Specal

Chuck was thinking of what to cook for Thanksgiving to take to his cousin's house. He found this in a draw marked toxic.

Recipe for Lumpkin Pie

1. Take an unhealthy dose of printer cartridge ink and pour it in a bowl.
2. Grab an albino squid and give it a good squeezing until ink comes out.
3. Put the squid ink in the bowl and blend it with the printer ink and a quart of old milk.
4. Take an armadillo and milk it. (If you don't know how, refer to my earlier post about it)
5. Put the armadillo milk and mix it with the ink/regular milk mixture.
6. Put the bowl aside and get out a pan.
7. Grab a quart of hot sauce and put it in the pan.
8. Take one hundred bell peppers and cut off the very bottom millimeter.
9. Put the pepper slices into the pan with the hot sauce.
10. Put twenty CDs into the blender and blend for twenty-four hours.
11. Put the CD juice into the pan.
12. Slap forty hobos and take the cheek cells.
13. Put the hobo cells in the pan.
14. Put a turkey into a trash compacter with some salt and jelly for two hours.
15. Put the turkey remains in the pan.
16. Combine the pan's contents with the bowl's contents.
15. Add a live raccoon.
16. Stir.
17. Bake for eighteen hours at negative one hundred degrees.
18. Enjoy and make sure you have a toilet, trash can, and barfing bag near you when you eat this dish.

Chuck was sued and tried for attempt at murder. He never saw the light of day again.