This is post number 49! Help support me on my way to post fifty!
P.S. My birthday is coming up, so there will be a special birthday post for the fiftieth!
YAY! DANE! B-DAY!
What have you gotten yourself into? This is the blog of world renowned Dane Fisher. Here you will find the exploits of a child truly posesed. The derranged scribblings of a mind gone bazzerk! The chicken scratches of an undesirable!!!!! The writings of a wierdy. If I were you, I'd put on some rubber gloves. Cause this is gunna get strange. Read more, I dare ya.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Randomness at Random! #17 Pill Hill of Bill
As you may have noticed, my titles are often rhyming. If you have a problem with that I suggest you lock yourself in a closet for two days with nothing to do but read Doctor Sues books. Now...
Hue has just locked himself in the closet again. He also took some Sues books. So Bill will be the substitute creature.
CHAPTER ONE-SPILL BILL
Bill had a pill. Bill was a pill. Bill was in a mill. Bill loved Dill-pickles.
Bill was a scypopollynack. Scypopollynack's are people who are allergic to everything. As you can imagine, Bill had a lot of pills. He got them from Canada. Bill loved his pills. He named each one of them. Macky was his favorite.
One day Bill went out for a bubble walk. Bill had to be in a bubble all his life since he was allergic to everything. Using the toilet was tough. I t involved a vacuum. While Bill was walking he had the sudden urge to use the lavatory. He was going home to get the vacuum when he heard a sudden pop come from a bush a little way away. There was a person in it. He kept saying that he was a bush, not a person, and would rather be left in peace to his photosynthesis. Bill agreed and walked on. He suddenly pulled down his pants and collapsed into a violent fit of giggling and passed out while peeing himself and barfing. His bubble had been popped by the bushes thorn so that non-ventilated air rushed in and paralysed Bill with the sudden allergic reaction. The bush had used a needle...
CHAPTER TWO-DAZE HAZE
Bill woke up naked in toilet. Well, he was naked, but Bill wasn't in a toilet, he was in a pool on top of a surgery table. Eww. He leaped up and slapped himself. What? He didn't mean to do that. ???ZZZZZ Bill had passed out again.
Now Bill was in a bubble, naked except for a bikini, with a target drawn on his cheeks. Which ever pair of cheeks you chose is up to you. ZZZZZ??????
He was a pig. ZZZZZ?????
Bill finally stopped hallucinating and stood up. He was missing his beloved Macky....
CHAPTER THREE- WHY GUY
Bill raced across the side walk to his house. He needed a vacuum.
After a good clean break, Bill went home for no reason at all. There were a few clowns there who gaged him and ripped his clothes off. Great, he was naked again. One clown poked him in the kidney and watched as a hole appeared in it.
Bill had been told everything. The bush had tranqed him, took his pill and his kidney and was going to use it as a weapon. Not like he was gunna shoot people with a kidney. It was a bio-bomb. and only Bill could stop it for some un-shared reason. He thought the clown were just too chicken to kill the bush. The clowns were WTHAWPSASOFATTIMTWIOAS agents. (why the heck are we performing such a stupid operation for a terrorist treat I mean threat? why is or acronim so long?)
Bill's pill was the last enlarging pill ever.
They were sending him in...
CHAPTER FOUR- PILL HILL
Bill fell out of the plane. Actually he was pushed. Anyway. Bill landed on a hill. After a minute or so, the hill exploded. It was actually a temple. There was a bush inside. It was lighting fireworks. How over dramatic. The temple was filled with pills. Even one the size of a whale. (Bill named it Bessie) The big pill exploded with confetti. A party. Weird. The bush had a rock. No, it was a kidney. It was Bill's kidney. The bush shoved it into a pan, then added some more ingredients to it. One was thumbtacks. He then but Bill's pill in the pan. He drank the concoction. Eww. Bill didn't know what to do. it was already to late. He had drank the bile. The bush grew. It was the size of a skyscraper. Bill peed on it. it was what the WTHAWPSASOFATTIMTWIOAS agents had told him to do. The bush shrank. It was the size of a pea. As in vegetable. And that was that. Done. Bill's pee was the antidote to the enlarging pill. DONE.
-Sorry for the dry climax, it was late at night when I wrote this-
Hue has just locked himself in the closet again. He also took some Sues books. So Bill will be the substitute creature.
CHAPTER ONE-SPILL BILL
Bill had a pill. Bill was a pill. Bill was in a mill. Bill loved Dill-pickles.
Bill was a scypopollynack. Scypopollynack's are people who are allergic to everything. As you can imagine, Bill had a lot of pills. He got them from Canada. Bill loved his pills. He named each one of them. Macky was his favorite.
One day Bill went out for a bubble walk. Bill had to be in a bubble all his life since he was allergic to everything. Using the toilet was tough. I t involved a vacuum. While Bill was walking he had the sudden urge to use the lavatory. He was going home to get the vacuum when he heard a sudden pop come from a bush a little way away. There was a person in it. He kept saying that he was a bush, not a person, and would rather be left in peace to his photosynthesis. Bill agreed and walked on. He suddenly pulled down his pants and collapsed into a violent fit of giggling and passed out while peeing himself and barfing. His bubble had been popped by the bushes thorn so that non-ventilated air rushed in and paralysed Bill with the sudden allergic reaction. The bush had used a needle...
CHAPTER TWO-DAZE HAZE
Bill woke up naked in toilet. Well, he was naked, but Bill wasn't in a toilet, he was in a pool on top of a surgery table. Eww. He leaped up and slapped himself. What? He didn't mean to do that. ???ZZZZZ Bill had passed out again.
Now Bill was in a bubble, naked except for a bikini, with a target drawn on his cheeks. Which ever pair of cheeks you chose is up to you. ZZZZZ??????
He was a pig. ZZZZZ?????
Bill finally stopped hallucinating and stood up. He was missing his beloved Macky....
CHAPTER THREE- WHY GUY
Bill raced across the side walk to his house. He needed a vacuum.
After a good clean break, Bill went home for no reason at all. There were a few clowns there who gaged him and ripped his clothes off. Great, he was naked again. One clown poked him in the kidney and watched as a hole appeared in it.
Bill had been told everything. The bush had tranqed him, took his pill and his kidney and was going to use it as a weapon. Not like he was gunna shoot people with a kidney. It was a bio-bomb. and only Bill could stop it for some un-shared reason. He thought the clown were just too chicken to kill the bush. The clowns were WTHAWPSASOFATTIMTWIOAS agents. (why the heck are we performing such a stupid operation for a terrorist treat I mean threat? why is or acronim so long?)
Bill's pill was the last enlarging pill ever.
They were sending him in...
CHAPTER FOUR- PILL HILL
Bill fell out of the plane. Actually he was pushed. Anyway. Bill landed on a hill. After a minute or so, the hill exploded. It was actually a temple. There was a bush inside. It was lighting fireworks. How over dramatic. The temple was filled with pills. Even one the size of a whale. (Bill named it Bessie) The big pill exploded with confetti. A party. Weird. The bush had a rock. No, it was a kidney. It was Bill's kidney. The bush shoved it into a pan, then added some more ingredients to it. One was thumbtacks. He then but Bill's pill in the pan. He drank the concoction. Eww. Bill didn't know what to do. it was already to late. He had drank the bile. The bush grew. It was the size of a skyscraper. Bill peed on it. it was what the WTHAWPSASOFATTIMTWIOAS agents had told him to do. The bush shrank. It was the size of a pea. As in vegetable. And that was that. Done. Bill's pee was the antidote to the enlarging pill. DONE.
-Sorry for the dry climax, it was late at night when I wrote this-
VIOLATION ALERT!!!!
I
Am
Afraid...
If you were unfortunate enough to read the last few comments on this blog, you will have been thoroughly confused.
Dear Anonymous (ahem *Sarah*) and Mellisa,
Internet safety is an important thing...
people could read the information you have posted on my comments and trick someone with that information, or use it in other dastardly ways. Also, my personal privacy is important too, other than my safety. This isn't the safest place to act as an I.M. network. Plus as you can tell, I don't get on very much either. Ma bye I don't want Ashly to know that you think her and I would be a good couple. Please sensor your comments to nameless and relationshipless, just tell me in person. Mellisa's codename will be BeanSean , Sarah's will be GirlSwirl, and mine will be DuckLuck.
It's fine, but just watch what you put on the web.
Am
Afraid...
If you were unfortunate enough to read the last few comments on this blog, you will have been thoroughly confused.
Dear Anonymous (ahem *Sarah*) and Mellisa,
Internet safety is an important thing...
people could read the information you have posted on my comments and trick someone with that information, or use it in other dastardly ways. Also, my personal privacy is important too, other than my safety. This isn't the safest place to act as an I.M. network. Plus as you can tell, I don't get on very much either. Ma bye I don't want Ashly to know that you think her and I would be a good couple. Please sensor your comments to nameless and relationshipless, just tell me in person. Mellisa's codename will be BeanSean , Sarah's will be GirlSwirl, and mine will be DuckLuck.
It's fine, but just watch what you put on the web.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Randomness at Random # 16 Frog Nog
Hue has been shoved and locked in a closet for a while, so that's why we haven't heard from him in a while.
It was November. Hue hadn't eaten in a while since his closet caper. He decided to feed his frog named Skipper. He had had him for three years, but Skipper wasn't important enough until now to mention. Skipper had gotten out of his tank once. He had snuck into the pantry looking for something to eat. In the morning when Hue got up he decided he would be called Danny today. While he ate his breakfast, Danny noticed something green in his cereal. It was Skipper, he had crawled into the box that night when he was looking for food. He had also brought Skippitha, a green bell pepper he had found while looking for food. Skipper thought it looked like a female frog and suggested to Skippitha that she be his wife. She didn't reply, so he took it as a yes and dragged her with him. Danny screamed as the slimy, slippery Skipper hopped out of the cereal and into Danny's mouth. Skipper got so scared inside Danny's mouth that he dropped some "presents" in there. Then Danny opened his mouth and Skipper hopped out leaving Skippitha behind in Danny's cereal. Danny vowed vengeance.
When his mom was out, Danny took a bottle of egg-nog and poured some of it into a bowl of Frosted Flakes. He then put Skipper in the bowl along with thirteen jalapenos. Then put a trashcan over it. On top of the trash can he put Webster's un-abridged dictionary, and a few roles of toilet paper. Skipper wouldn't get out of there. When Danny's mother came home it was already too late. Skipper was dead.
Did I say dead? I meant red. Skipper was blushing profusely with all the new female jalapenos to chose from. They were hot. (Sarah) Hot as in spicy. There were already seven new litters of half jalapeno half frog on the way.
It was November. Hue hadn't eaten in a while since his closet caper. He decided to feed his frog named Skipper. He had had him for three years, but Skipper wasn't important enough until now to mention. Skipper had gotten out of his tank once. He had snuck into the pantry looking for something to eat. In the morning when Hue got up he decided he would be called Danny today. While he ate his breakfast, Danny noticed something green in his cereal. It was Skipper, he had crawled into the box that night when he was looking for food. He had also brought Skippitha, a green bell pepper he had found while looking for food. Skipper thought it looked like a female frog and suggested to Skippitha that she be his wife. She didn't reply, so he took it as a yes and dragged her with him. Danny screamed as the slimy, slippery Skipper hopped out of the cereal and into Danny's mouth. Skipper got so scared inside Danny's mouth that he dropped some "presents" in there. Then Danny opened his mouth and Skipper hopped out leaving Skippitha behind in Danny's cereal. Danny vowed vengeance.
When his mom was out, Danny took a bottle of egg-nog and poured some of it into a bowl of Frosted Flakes. He then put Skipper in the bowl along with thirteen jalapenos. Then put a trashcan over it. On top of the trash can he put Webster's un-abridged dictionary, and a few roles of toilet paper. Skipper wouldn't get out of there. When Danny's mother came home it was already too late. Skipper was dead.
Did I say dead? I meant red. Skipper was blushing profusely with all the new female jalapenos to chose from. They were hot. (Sarah) Hot as in spicy. There were already seven new litters of half jalapeno half frog on the way.
Smile your on 24 Hour Reality
I would like to take a moment away from the usual un-serious stuff that I write here and show my calm side. If you are looking for some wackiness now, check older posts. If your in the mood for Zen things then read on...
I was just listening to Carol of the Bells by George Winston while I wrote this. It's on the YouTube feature on the sidebar. I would like you to take a minute to listen to it.
I was looking out-side. The leaves are falling. The wind is blowing. It is light out. I just petted my cats. I am happy. Simply that. It is fall, my birthday is in eleven days. But I feel content. Most people don't take the time out their routines to feel the real inner peace and joy that may come from some calm music on a nice day. I was scared for Winter. It is always so dark and sad. But now I am pleased to know a new season with some relaxation is on its way. The sun is so bright, the music is so cheery, and all the people have come together as somewhat of a cohesive unit. I used to think that people were friendly all year-round, and they are, don't get me wrong, but in November/December people leave all the wild joy and obnoxious fun bringing of summer, and spin it into a very pleasant and nice web of calm contentment in the Winter. There's less crazy nights of glow stick and nachos and more talking and sharing. I just wish to know that other people find a nice, happy, peaceful niche in which they are content for a moment every ounce in a while. Happy Winter...
I was just listening to Carol of the Bells by George Winston while I wrote this. It's on the YouTube feature on the sidebar. I would like you to take a minute to listen to it.
I was looking out-side. The leaves are falling. The wind is blowing. It is light out. I just petted my cats. I am happy. Simply that. It is fall, my birthday is in eleven days. But I feel content. Most people don't take the time out their routines to feel the real inner peace and joy that may come from some calm music on a nice day. I was scared for Winter. It is always so dark and sad. But now I am pleased to know a new season with some relaxation is on its way. The sun is so bright, the music is so cheery, and all the people have come together as somewhat of a cohesive unit. I used to think that people were friendly all year-round, and they are, don't get me wrong, but in November/December people leave all the wild joy and obnoxious fun bringing of summer, and spin it into a very pleasant and nice web of calm contentment in the Winter. There's less crazy nights of glow stick and nachos and more talking and sharing. I just wish to know that other people find a nice, happy, peaceful niche in which they are content for a moment every ounce in a while. Happy Winter...
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