Randomness at Random # 23 Wax Winning (the prequel to Wacky Wax)

Carl was walking around the slummy side of town, looking for something irresponsible to do, when a man in a gray suite asked him if he was 21. What kind of question is that to ask, thought Carl, but since he had been looking for something irresponsible to do he told the man his age. (Carl's age will never be specified since he does many strange things involving many age groups.) The man in the gray suite didn't really care if what his age was, he was going to put him on the Easy To Win game show anyway. Carl was flown out to Washington to the Easy To Win game show complex for his 11:00 am (not pm, or cm, that's centimeters) recording time. After all the corny/showy stuff about his personal life, the host, Mr. Announcer, said that he had to pass five levels of tasks to achieve the grand prize of one million dollars. (Exchanged into equal value in Euro is a prize of 100 Euro A.K.A. inflation) The first task was to take off all his clothes and rub every single inch of himself inside and out with Wasabi sauce. Piece of sushi, I mean, cake, he thought. Carl did so, and after screaming for an hour, passing out of pain, screaming another hour, and taking a bathroom break that even more painful, Carl passed level 1. Level 2 was that Carl had to swallow 100 ping pong balls filled with baby pablum. Piece of ground carrot, I mean, cake, he thought. He did so, and after puking for an hour straight, and another even more painful bathroom break, Carl had passed level 2. Level 2 and 1/2 was challenging Carl that he had to swallow 100 golf balls filled with Habenero Pepper hot sauce. Carl did so and after the most painful bathroom break yet he passed the hypothetical Level 2 and 1/2. Levels 3 and 4 were to swallow 100 tennis and soccer balls filled with liquid mercury and cyanide poisoning, and after the mother of all painful bathroom breaks, Carl was on to Level 5. Level 5's task was to milk 200,000 glow worms and fill a twenty food tall cylinder, then drink it all while swimming in it. Carl did so, and after the father of the father of the uncle of the mother of all bathroom breaks, Carl had won the million dollar prize. And guess what he bought with it...