The Skippy Chronicles Season 4 # 2 Search and Rescue

Well, even though Dane expressed his confusion of the obviously false first clue, he still decided to search his house after leaving Henry's. He started with the plumbing. After seven hours of sticking his head in toilets, shower drains, sinks, garbage disposals (ouch), and various other wet tubes, tunnels, and crevices, he concluded that Skippy was not in any of the pipework, so he decided to check all the structural areas. After four more hours of crawling around in walls, ceilings, floors, and other various places that held his house up, Dane assumed that Skippy wasn't there either, so he decided to check all outgoing forms of transportation. After three more hours of riding cars, mail trucks, milk vans, ice cream vans, bicycles, garbage trucks, and other various things with or without wheels, Dane came to realize that Skippy wasn't leaving his house if he was there at all, so, for his final search, Dane check all rooms and piles of junk in his house. After ten more hours (which now all the hours spent searching add up to twenty four, EXACTLY, I HAD A STOPWATCH) of looking in bed rooms, closets, bathrooms, and kitchens, and digging through piles of dishes, food, clothes, toys, and other various molding lumps Dane came to the final answer that Skippy was not in his house at all. Dane went into a fit that looked somewhat like him attempting to catch his tail, swallow his tongue, tickle his back, and kick his leg. Dane finally snapped out of his deranged trance and went to get the mail. In the box he found another clue. It read:

Dear Dane, Henry, Ben (maybe), and Zach (honorary),

We wish that all of you had followed Dane's idiotic example of tearing up his house in search of Skippy, but I guess you can't have your salamander and lick it too. So, we have issued the real first clue, but it will be number 1 & 1/2 and will prepare you for the second clue, or Clue 2, as I might add. Good luck with this rhyme:

Clue # 1 & 1/2:

Gather your crew,
For clue number two.

Sorry, that clue was really bland and dry, and really, it probably shouldn't have been a clue at all, but, it will bring us all closer together, love your neighbor.

Somewhat Sincerely, but Somewhat Sarcastically,
E.V.I.L. (Evil Villains Incarcerate reptiLes)

The Big 70!

The next post will be my big 70th! I was just at my big 50th, but after a big blogging splurge, I reached my Big 70th in three days! Show support by entering the R at R Big 25th topic contest! Go blogging!

P.S. Henry, write on your blog, especially about Skippy!

The Skippy Chronicles Season 4 # 1 The Best Beginning Ever

Dane woke up from his dream to find that a note had been pushed under his door. HE unfolded it to find magazine cut out letters in the form of a message. It read:

Dear Dane, Henry, and Zach,

We have turtlenapped Skippy the turtle in order to research him. We took these drastic measures for no apparent reason. We will leave clues to his whereabouts to aggravate you into chasing him for our amusement. Now that the ransom stuff is taken care of, we will write the small talk. How have you been? How's Skippy? (Wait, we turtlenapped him, never mind.) What's been on your mind? Keeping busy? Enough small talk, time for the first clue of Skippy's location.

Clue #1: In your house Skippy resides,
But only you to him does safety provide.

In no Way at all Sincerely,
E.V.I.L. (Evil Villains Incarcerate reptiLes)

Dane had no idea why the people who wrote the letter didn't use a computer and type the message out to disguise their handwriting, so he assumed they were equally as ignorant as him. Or the people were somewhere remote, so they didn't have a computer to use, but then how would they get the magazines? This contemplation was pointless and was using much of Danes brainpower, so he decided to stop and brought Henry over to help him search his house for Skippy.

The Bigger 25!

AS you know I'm on number 23 of the soon to be 25 post of R at R and 25 is a quarter of one hundred, and that is really cool. So, for the actual 25 post, I am going to write about a topic suggested by "the viewers". So leave a comment on this post about what I should write about. The best one will beb used for the 25th post of R at R!

Randomness at Random # 23 Wax Winning (the prequel to Wacky Wax)

Carl was walking around the slummy side of town, looking for something irresponsible to do, when a man in a gray suite asked him if he was 21. What kind of question is that to ask, thought Carl, but since he had been looking for something irresponsible to do he told the man his age. (Carl's age will never be specified since he does many strange things involving many age groups.) The man in the gray suite didn't really care if what his age was, he was going to put him on the Easy To Win game show anyway. Carl was flown out to Washington to the Easy To Win game show complex for his 11:00 am (not pm, or cm, that's centimeters) recording time. After all the corny/showy stuff about his personal life, the host, Mr. Announcer, said that he had to pass five levels of tasks to achieve the grand prize of one million dollars. (Exchanged into equal value in Euro is a prize of 100 Euro A.K.A. inflation) The first task was to take off all his clothes and rub every single inch of himself inside and out with Wasabi sauce. Piece of sushi, I mean, cake, he thought. Carl did so, and after screaming for an hour, passing out of pain, screaming another hour, and taking a bathroom break that even more painful, Carl passed level 1. Level 2 was that Carl had to swallow 100 ping pong balls filled with baby pablum. Piece of ground carrot, I mean, cake, he thought. He did so, and after puking for an hour straight, and another even more painful bathroom break, Carl had passed level 2. Level 2 and 1/2 was challenging Carl that he had to swallow 100 golf balls filled with Habenero Pepper hot sauce. Carl did so and after the most painful bathroom break yet he passed the hypothetical Level 2 and 1/2. Levels 3 and 4 were to swallow 100 tennis and soccer balls filled with liquid mercury and cyanide poisoning, and after the mother of all painful bathroom breaks, Carl was on to Level 5. Level 5's task was to milk 200,000 glow worms and fill a twenty food tall cylinder, then drink it all while swimming in it. Carl did so, and after the father of the father of the uncle of the mother of all bathroom breaks, Carl had won the million dollar prize. And guess what he bought with it...

Randomness at Random # 22 Wacky Wax

I've decided the Chuck as the main character's name was wwwaaayyy to long to type. It was such a long name that I have to replace it with another. Meet Carl, Caz for short. Why Caz? 'Cause it sounds cool. CAZ CAZ CAZ CAZ CAZ CAZ CAZ. Say that seven times fast. No really. Say it. Do it. Do it! DO it! DO IT! YOU BETTER DO IT! DO IT FOR PICKLES SAKE OR I WILL SHOVE A PINEAPPLE THAT'S INSIDE A PORCUPINE DOWN YOUR THROAT AND OUT YOUR EARS, THEN TAKE YOUR EARDRUMS AND STRETCH THEM INTO A REAL DRUM AND BEAT YOU WITH IT UNTIL YOU LOOSE CONSCIOUSNESS OR SHOVE YOUR FACE IN A DUMPSTER!!! Oh, sorry. Got a little carried away there. Seriously. No seriously. SERIOUSLY! IF YOU DON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY I WILL GET A RAKE AND CLAW ALL OF YOUR SKIN OFF AND THEN POKE YOU WITH THUMB TACKS OVER EVERY SQUARE INCH OF YOUR BODY- Sorry, got carried away again. What was I talking about? No, I really forgot. REALLY! Okay, I'm done.

Randomness at Random # 22 Wacky Wax

Caz, or Carlington as he was know at the Formal Dining Club of Fancy Snobs, owned a wax shop. Caz and his wax shop were the talk of Waxicon Valley. (That's like Silicon Valley in California, but with wax and in Pennsylvania.) Caz was on a game show a week before and had won one million dollars. The game show was called, Easy To Win, but that's another story. Really, it is, or will be in, Randomness at Random # 23, anyway, he bought a life-time supply of wax, ear wax.

And when you need an ear cleaner, use WaxAway ear cleaners. They incorporate spinning saw blades for deep down clean. WaxAway. Sorry, had to have an infomercial, that's what pays for this blog. Anyway, Carl used this earwax to make sculptures. Magnificent, disgusting, sculptures.

He changed his wax shop into a showroom for his "art" as I guess is what you would call it. He sculpted people, naked and clothed, happy and sad, tall and short, stupid and smart all out of ear wax. He sculpted animals and plants, unclothed (as most animals and plants are), happy and sad, pretty and ugly, rare and common, all out of ear wax. He sculpted objects, unclothed (as most objects except for barbies are, though most of the times barbies have their cloths off too), happy and sad, big and small, useful and not, all out of ear wax. He mad zero money off of his sculptures, but he didn't care, this was his passion: sculpting unsightly things out of unsightly material. He changed his showroom to a gallery, and his gallery to a museum, and his museum to a monument for his great ear wax sculpting "talent" as I guess you would call it. Carl grew famous, but not rich, from his putridly modeled sculptures. Carl was "happy" as I guess you would call it (more like insane) until a particularly hot day in July when his sculptures melted. A stream of smelly, discolored, dirty, and slimy ear wax flowed through his front doors and down the street drain. Gone. All the sewer rats left the sewer due to the terrifyingly gruesome stench left by the ear wax river. Carl ran out of money just about a week later and became homeless. He now makes miniature wax sculptures weekly with the findings of the contents of his ears.

Poorly (Written) Poetry # 4 Plime of Mime, Crime, and Lime

Plime was a mime,
He could not chime,
He would mime,
How to climb.

Plime has done crime,
He had done the time,
'Cause he didn't have the dime,
So he lived in the grime,
Of crime.

Plime liked to rhyme,
While he baked his lime,
But it always turned into slime,
When he baked his lime,
But they divime.

(The last word is divine, but to ryme it is now to be addressed as divime.)

Poorly (Written) Poetry # 3 Kyle of Style, Hostile, and Tile

I am Kyle,
I like style,
I go the extra mile,
And take the extra while,
To be in style.

People have had to dial,
9-1-1 for my hostile,
behavior,
An I've been put on trial,
In which I am in denial,
of my hostile,
behavior.

It is worth your while,
To me for your tile,
I have a big file,
On my tile,
I wear a smile,
As I make a pile,
I am quite versatile,
I use a vial,
To poor the grout,
For yout tile.

Poorly (Written) Poetry # 2 Animal Ocupations

There was a eagle,
Though he was illegal,
He learned to juggle,
At an angle.

There was a seagull,
He would haggle,
In a jungle,
But he would always bungle.

There was a beagle,
He was regal,
He would dangle,
From a shingle.

There was a man,
His name is Kris Kringle,
His sleigh made a catchy jingle,
He liked to giggle,
He wasn't single.

60th Post!!!

I have just reached my 60th post after pulling a ten-post-in-one-day-er. I was now post more regularly with Randomness at Random and Poorly (Written) Poetry! Go 60th post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poorly (Written) Poetry # 1 Skip Low

If you skip too high,
you'll hit the sky,
and you will die,
and I will cry,
as I lie,
you in the rye,
and I say goodbye,
to my special guy.

Poorly (Written) Poetry Series Premier

Welcome to the red carpet opening of Poorly (Written) Poetry! I will be your tour guide and sushi chef for this evening. This series will include terribly worded, horrifically spelled, disgusting topics, and epically failed attempts to make some phrases be remotely interesting. Be prepared for being unprepared.

The Getobird's Address

The recent corolation between The Balaclava Blog thing and NASA have interacted with my interest. In fact, they have had several formal dinners with my interest and are great car pool buddies with it, so, I would like to get on this train of creative collaboration, but before we get even deeper into the Skippy Chronicles, what are we going to do about Zach? Shall the Balaclava dude replace him? I await your strange replies.

Totally uncincerly,

Federal Cheif of Non-Alchoholic Beverages,
Washington, United States of Amsterdam

Dane Fisher

Dane Fisher

The Skippy Chronicles Season 4 # 0 The Best Prologue Ever

I have no idea what that thing with Fidel Castro that Henry wrote about was about, so I am going to ignore it until he explains. Enclosed in this envelope is the Skippy related side of the prologue. If you are reading this when it is not in an envelope you will be arrested, I mean, mailed a copy of the prologue that is in an envelope. (Not really, you'll be arrested for envelope biast)

Skippy burst around the corner. Five guards, he thought, that's seven guards too many. I can't take them, but, if I can separate them maybe I can. Skippy ran faster along the tunnel. He dived into a side room as the guards ran past. He lunged for the last guard in line. It toppled around the corner and screamed, too far out of view to see what Skippy was doing to him. The guard stopped screaming with a little rasp and whimper as all was quiet. The other four guards would be after Skippy in a moment, he had to escape and stop Fidel Castro from rising to power. We all know how much Fidley (as I like to call him) likes peanut butter sandwiches and Skippy's name was the same as a major peanut butter producer's was. Is that just a coincidence. Well, obviously this had to do something with Skippy, so he wanted some answers, so he needed to escape in order to find them. The guards appeared and...blank.
Dane woke up from his dream. What's happening to Skippy?

STAY TUNED FOR A PREVIEW OF NEXT POST'S EPISODE:

THE SKIPPY CHRONICLES SEASON 5 # 1 THE BEST BEGINNING EVER

Randomness at Random # 21 Food Phobia

Chuck was, as always, undergoing another test run of a drug pill. It was called FoodAwayAZEMICAL. Chuck had little money, and when I say a little I mean dirt poor, not even dirt poor, more like no-dirt poor, so he was undergoing a month of FoodAwayAZEMICAL to see if he got the weight loss results that he wanted. Nothing is easy for Chuck. After about 168 straight hours (a solid week) of unpleasant bathroom involved complications. The toilet seat actually molded into the contures of Chuck's rump. So after that horrific and dirty week, Chuck started to have a fear of food. Phoodaphobia is what it is called. All types of food, even fruits and vegetables grew mouths, puppy dog like eyes, and a nose and started to convince Chuck about why he shouldn't eat them. Here's a typical day for Chuck:

Breakfast-

Chuck: I'm hungry, I think I'll have some cereal.
Cereal: No, dude, don't eat me! I have a Cheerio and three Fruit Loops, I've gotta provide for them, man.
Chuck: Okay, how about an orange?
Orange: I'm not organic.
Chuck: Guess I'll wait until lunch.

Lunch-

Chuck: Time for an "I skipped breakfast" type of power lunch. I want a sandwich.
Sandwich: No way, Chuck, you ate Ham yesterday and beloved Turkey on Tuesday, lets not put me, Bologna, on the list. It's unhealthy to have the same meal thrice in row.
Chuck: Okay, I'll have macaroni.
Macaroni: No, I am only a starch and dairy, remember the food pyramid, you need a serving of everything. Try T.V. Dinner.
T.V. Dinner: I have high fructose corn syrup.
Chuck: I'll wait for Dinner.

Dinner-

All foods: DON'T EAT US!!!
Chuck: I'm gunna puke.

So, every night when Chuck didn't have any food all day and got nauseous and puked from lack of chow he wrenched, but nothing came out. He didn't have any food to throw up. Now, even Water was trying to convince him to switch to Milk and then Milk would shout at Water for being a jerk.
Chuck decided to hit himself in the head with a hammer until he snorted the FoodAwayAZEMICAL pills out his nose. It worked without major injury, and when I mean major, I mean death, so Chuck was about brain dead when they recalled the pills for serious side effects. Chuck was happy he got his hundred dollars for trying the pills, they would pay for another prescription he was testing for money called DeadInAFewSecondsFERZINAD.

Spanish Post

Hola amigos! Es el espanol libro! Yo hablo en espanol para el libro. Me llamo Dane. Es libro estupido. Adios!

HOLY COW! THIS TITLE IS MENT TO BE SOOOO EXCITING THAT I WISH I COULD MAKE THE FONT SIZE TO BE 1 MILE PER LETTER!!! I AM POSTING AGAIN AMIGOS!

THIS DAY YOU WILL WANT TO MARK IN HISTORY IS THE DAY THAT FAMED WRITER "ME" RETURNS TO WRITING HIS BLOG!!! YOU BETTER SHAKE MY HAND NOW BEFORE I GET TOO FAMOUS!!!

Randomness at Random! #20 Doodle in the Noodle

This is it! The 20th post! I asked my readers to suggest a good topic, but I already had one, so I'm sorry, but I started writing this post just seconds after telling everyone about how to suggest a topic.


Part One

Chuck was in class at VeryBoringAverageTypicalNormalElemantary. It was almost recess time and Chuck couldn't think about anything besides the drawings that were going on in his head. You see, Chuck was a very special kid at VeryBoringAverageTypicalNormalElementary. He had very elaborate day dreams that looked as if he had drawn everything in them. A doodle in the noodle. Today, Chuck was dreaming about dinosaurs and submarines and lolly pops and bunny rabbits and cereal and Japanese people and even ponies made out of sugar. Chuck missed the bell because the ponies had just turned into chocolate and Chuck didn't want to miss the climax of his dream when the dinosaurs turned into sugar and help the ponies defeat the Japanese people in submarines with lollipops. All the dinos had was cereal. It was an epic fairytale battle to last the ages. Only when Mrs.Un-noticalble slapped Chuck in the face did he notice that he was missing recess and lunch. Chuck skipped outside to play on the swings. During lunch after he had eaten ten rice crispy bars, three chocolate bars, and a giant oatmeal cookie, Chuck had a seizure. He started to do the Mocerana, tango, fox trot, and rumba all at once while chasing his tongue around his mouth to try and eat it. Then he slapped himself twenty times on each cheek and fell belly first on the floor convulsing. He was trying to each the gum under the table and put jelly beans up his nose a minute later. Mrs.Un-noticable had to pour ice cold water down his pants to wake him up. Chuck was taken to a mental institution. In social confinement, all of his day dreams came true.

Part Two

The ponies came out and ate all the paint they could find. The dinos came out and ate all the meat they could find. The Japanese came out and ate all the raw fish they could find. The submarines came out and ate all the gas they could find. There was nothing left of the asylum. Chuck called all his mystical creations and ran home. His parents were not pleased. The next day, Chuck dreamt of Godzilla fighting Big Bird and King Kong fighting Mr.T. The school was not pleased. Wednesday he thought of the nutcracker and James Bond. The town was not pleased. Next he thought of a circus made out of aliens and zombies. The country was not pleased. Then he wondered what Mars was like. The world was not pleased. Eventually the IRS (Internal Re-creation Scoundrels) convinced Chuck to dream of a devise that would make everyone forget this whole thing. Chuck did so. It looked like a Mac mixed with a PC mixed with the Republican and Democratic parties. A real bipartisan machine. Even Chuck forgot about his weird dreams and the creations got so lonely they thought it would be best to just go to the Moon and be forgotten. Everything was dandy and annoyingly normal once again.

Part Three

I just wanted to add a third part to make you think it wasn't over and get you worried again. Gotcha.

The Big 20!

The next post of Randomness at Random will be the 20th post! I will be taking suggestions on what the 20th post should be about, the best one will be used for it! I didn't say I couldn't make suggestions.

Randomness at Random #19 Thanksgiving Specal

Chuck was thinking of what to cook for Thanksgiving to take to his cousin's house. He found this in a draw marked toxic.

Recipe for Lumpkin Pie

1. Take an unhealthy dose of printer cartridge ink and pour it in a bowl.
2. Grab an albino squid and give it a good squeezing until ink comes out.
3. Put the squid ink in the bowl and blend it with the printer ink and a quart of old milk.
4. Take an armadillo and milk it. (If you don't know how, refer to my earlier post about it)
5. Put the armadillo milk and mix it with the ink/regular milk mixture.
6. Put the bowl aside and get out a pan.
7. Grab a quart of hot sauce and put it in the pan.
8. Take one hundred bell peppers and cut off the very bottom millimeter.
9. Put the pepper slices into the pan with the hot sauce.
10. Put twenty CDs into the blender and blend for twenty-four hours.
11. Put the CD juice into the pan.
12. Slap forty hobos and take the cheek cells.
13. Put the hobo cells in the pan.
14. Put a turkey into a trash compacter with some salt and jelly for two hours.
15. Put the turkey remains in the pan.
16. Combine the pan's contents with the bowl's contents.
15. Add a live raccoon.
16. Stir.
17. Bake for eighteen hours at negative one hundred degrees.
18. Enjoy and make sure you have a toilet, trash can, and barfing bag near you when you eat this dish.

Chuck was sued and tried for attempt at murder. He never saw the light of day again.

Randomness at Random # 18 Halloween Special and 50th Post!!!!

Happy belated Halloween everyone!!!!! Trick or Treat, smell my feet, and my laundry! This is the 50th post/Halloween Special Extravaganza! there really isn't anything different about the post, it's just the 50th!

P.S. Hue has had too many seizures in result of working for me, so we have replaced him in honor of the 50th post.
P.S.S. (P.S. Stands for pre script in this case)

Randomness at Random# 18 Halloween Special

Chuck was walking down the highway with his pinkie up, looking for someone to hitchhike with when it happened. When what happened you ask? I'm not gunna tell you. It's a secret. With sprinkles on top? Add a cherry and whip cream and you have yourself a deal. And that "please" better be pretty!
That was when a green and purple glow stick fell from the sky and hit him in the pinkie, breaking the appendage in half. Well Chuck had to be qualified for the job of an interesting character in my stories, so he was trained to eat anything that fell from the sky or glowed. So Chuck ate the glow stick without thinking anything of it. He decided to just hop home on his pogo-stick. When Chuck arrived at his house he decided to go into the cemetery. He knew it would make a good story because all Halloween story plot lines have a stupid guy go into the last place you should be on October 31st. Immediately the dead got out of their graves and shook Chuck's broken pinkie and tried to eat his brains until realising he had none. Chuck thought nothing of the badly written climactic event of the raising of the dead and walked on to the animal shelter. There all the "sleeping" animals got up and bit Chuck in the pinkie and tried to eat his brain until they realised that they would starve as all undead things do without a healthy brain to engorge upon. Then Chuck went to the local McDonald's. Everything there sprouted to life, even all the living people attending the counters and deep friars and drive through and the customers too. The food slapped his pinkie and tried to gnaw on his cranium to no avail, especially because most food doesn't have a mouth. Then the clerks and customers shook his pinkie and chewed his skull disappointingly. Chuck visited the electronics store and the morgue and even the White House. By the time Chuck decided to go home about a fourth of the world's dead population were alive, China was overpopulated to the point that people had to crawl over each other to get to places, like goldfish in a pond when you feed them. The town was overrun with zombies. It was like outsourcing to India. Everywhere you looked zombies ran the place. The post office, the grocery store, the suicide counseling. Chuck saw how bad this was for the economy. Now all the dollars were useless, all you needed was a brain and most things cost several brains and it is quiet unlikely you have several brains on you. So Chuck put together the facts. The glow stick he swallowed must have been radioactive, thus the dead were coming alive, just like the common plot of many a horror film. So Chuck contacted the Russians and asked if he could borrow a nuke from Cuba left over from the Cold War. They lent him one in the blink of an eye.
He nuked it. His town. The zombies shrived up into little round sponge like things and rolled into the fires that nuked had started just to make just everything was sterile. And Chuck and his smoldering town lived mutatedly ever after. The End.

FIFTY PARTY!!

This is post number 49! Help support me on my way to post fifty!



P.S. My birthday is coming up, so there will be a special birthday post for the fiftieth!



YAY! DANE! B-DAY!

Randomness at Random! #17 Pill Hill of Bill

As you may have noticed, my titles are often rhyming. If you have a problem with that I suggest you lock yourself in a closet for two days with nothing to do but read Doctor Sues books. Now...

Hue has just locked himself in the closet again. He also took some Sues books. So Bill will be the substitute creature.

CHAPTER ONE-SPILL BILL

Bill had a pill. Bill was a pill. Bill was in a mill. Bill loved Dill-pickles.

Bill was a scypopollynack. Scypopollynack's are people who are allergic to everything. As you can imagine, Bill had a lot of pills. He got them from Canada. Bill loved his pills. He named each one of them. Macky was his favorite.
One day Bill went out for a bubble walk. Bill had to be in a bubble all his life since he was allergic to everything. Using the toilet was tough. I t involved a vacuum. While Bill was walking he had the sudden urge to use the lavatory. He was going home to get the vacuum when he heard a sudden pop come from a bush a little way away. There was a person in it. He kept saying that he was a bush, not a person, and would rather be left in peace to his photosynthesis. Bill agreed and walked on. He suddenly pulled down his pants and collapsed into a violent fit of giggling and passed out while peeing himself and barfing. His bubble had been popped by the bushes thorn so that non-ventilated air rushed in and paralysed Bill with the sudden allergic reaction. The bush had used a needle...

CHAPTER TWO-DAZE HAZE

Bill woke up naked in toilet. Well, he was naked, but Bill wasn't in a toilet, he was in a pool on top of a surgery table. Eww. He leaped up and slapped himself. What? He didn't mean to do that. ???ZZZZZ Bill had passed out again.
Now Bill was in a bubble, naked except for a bikini, with a target drawn on his cheeks. Which ever pair of cheeks you chose is up to you. ZZZZZ??????
He was a pig. ZZZZZ?????
Bill finally stopped hallucinating and stood up. He was missing his beloved Macky....

CHAPTER THREE- WHY GUY

Bill raced across the side walk to his house. He needed a vacuum.
After a good clean break, Bill went home for no reason at all. There were a few clowns there who gaged him and ripped his clothes off. Great, he was naked again. One clown poked him in the kidney and watched as a hole appeared in it.
Bill had been told everything. The bush had tranqed him, took his pill and his kidney and was going to use it as a weapon. Not like he was gunna shoot people with a kidney. It was a bio-bomb. and only Bill could stop it for some un-shared reason. He thought the clown were just too chicken to kill the bush. The clowns were WTHAWPSASOFATTIMTWIOAS agents. (why the heck are we performing such a stupid operation for a terrorist treat I mean threat? why is or acronim so long?)
Bill's pill was the last enlarging pill ever.
They were sending him in...

CHAPTER FOUR- PILL HILL

Bill fell out of the plane. Actually he was pushed. Anyway. Bill landed on a hill. After a minute or so, the hill exploded. It was actually a temple. There was a bush inside. It was lighting fireworks. How over dramatic. The temple was filled with pills. Even one the size of a whale. (Bill named it Bessie) The big pill exploded with confetti. A party. Weird. The bush had a rock. No, it was a kidney. It was Bill's kidney. The bush shoved it into a pan, then added some more ingredients to it. One was thumbtacks. He then but Bill's pill in the pan. He drank the concoction. Eww. Bill didn't know what to do. it was already to late. He had drank the bile. The bush grew. It was the size of a skyscraper. Bill peed on it. it was what the WTHAWPSASOFATTIMTWIOAS agents had told him to do. The bush shrank. It was the size of a pea. As in vegetable. And that was that. Done. Bill's pee was the antidote to the enlarging pill. DONE.

-Sorry for the dry climax, it was late at night when I wrote this-

VIOLATION ALERT!!!!

I



Am



Afraid...



If you were unfortunate enough to read the last few comments on this blog, you will have been thoroughly confused.

Dear Anonymous (ahem *Sarah*) and Mellisa,

Internet safety is an important thing...
people could read the information you have posted on my comments and trick someone with that information, or use it in other dastardly ways. Also, my personal privacy is important too, other than my safety. This isn't the safest place to act as an I.M. network. Plus as you can tell, I don't get on very much either. Ma bye I don't want Ashly to know that you think her and I would be a good couple. Please sensor your comments to nameless and relationshipless, just tell me in person. Mellisa's codename will be BeanSean , Sarah's will be GirlSwirl, and mine will be DuckLuck.

It's fine, but just watch what you put on the web.

Randomness at Random # 16 Frog Nog

Hue has been shoved and locked in a closet for a while, so that's why we haven't heard from him in a while.

It was November. Hue hadn't eaten in a while since his closet caper. He decided to feed his frog named Skipper. He had had him for three years, but Skipper wasn't important enough until now to mention. Skipper had gotten out of his tank once. He had snuck into the pantry looking for something to eat. In the morning when Hue got up he decided he would be called Danny today. While he ate his breakfast, Danny noticed something green in his cereal. It was Skipper, he had crawled into the box that night when he was looking for food. He had also brought Skippitha, a green bell pepper he had found while looking for food. Skipper thought it looked like a female frog and suggested to Skippitha that she be his wife. She didn't reply, so he took it as a yes and dragged her with him. Danny screamed as the slimy, slippery Skipper hopped out of the cereal and into Danny's mouth. Skipper got so scared inside Danny's mouth that he dropped some "presents" in there. Then Danny opened his mouth and Skipper hopped out leaving Skippitha behind in Danny's cereal. Danny vowed vengeance.
When his mom was out, Danny took a bottle of egg-nog and poured some of it into a bowl of Frosted Flakes. He then put Skipper in the bowl along with thirteen jalapenos. Then put a trashcan over it. On top of the trash can he put Webster's un-abridged dictionary, and a few roles of toilet paper. Skipper wouldn't get out of there. When Danny's mother came home it was already too late. Skipper was dead.
Did I say dead? I meant red. Skipper was blushing profusely with all the new female jalapenos to chose from. They were hot. (Sarah) Hot as in spicy. There were already seven new litters of half jalapeno half frog on the way.