Hello, Frank. As you know, you are my lawyer. And this message on your answering machine is to you. Good luck.
You little son of a flea bag's, vacuum cleaner's, massage therapist's, daily post!
I think I'll sue you! You little varmint! I'm in prison! That is illegal! You're supposed to keep me from getting into this box, no matter how obvious it is that I robbed that nick-knack store in Vancouver near Niagara falls! Crap! Do you think they heard us? I mean like the cops are listening to this recording.
No, we aren't.
Okay, good. Any way, I'll eat you with an ice cream scooper, you unpasteurised dairy product! I'll sue you for not getting me out of deep, illegal, stupid, Mafia-connected, trouble! I'll get you in here too. And I'll get your house, car, and no.2 Ballpoint Fountain pen I've wanted for so many a year.
-Beep-
Plus, then I'll get rid of you so that my current lawyer, JoeShmoe Frankfurter, can have all the business of realty, I mean legal help, on 4th street for until your building gets bought! Which it won't in this re-crescendo, I mean recession. Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Buuuuuuuuuut, since you are my lawyer, I can't have you sue yourself, because you'll be the defendant. I guess I'll have to pay another lawyer to sue you. And God, heck everyone knows, that I can't afford that. I guess I'll have to compensate my revenge by sending you dog doo. It's cool! They have this great new company called Dog On It! that covers something of your Ex's in dog poo. That's why they call it Dog On It! 'cause that's what they'll say when they see it. But you're my Ex-Lawyer, still, it'll work and get the point across. Look watch what you brush your teeth with. That'd be a cool T.V. series name, X-Lawyer. Anyway, I'll get you, you dish washed, hand blown, crystallized, black and white copied, rubber duck! Even if it's the last thing I do! Ha!
-Please hang up and try your call again. The number you called is disconnected. You may have put in the wrong number. Please hand up and try you call again. The number you called is disconnected. You may have put in the wrong number. Please hang.....-
.................................................................-silent loathing-............................................................................
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Well kidios! That's our sow , I mean show, for today. Please answer Reflecting On the Topic questions 1-7, and Personal Response. Bye, bye.
Reflecting On the Topic
1. How did this passage make you feel?Why?
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2. Do you think Frank was good or bad? Why?
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3. Do you think the main character was good or bad? Why?
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4. Why do you think the letters were written in a bigger size at the beginning?
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5. Why did the author write the passage?
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6. Why do you think I am asking such stupid questions?
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7. Do you think Stephonie, my spouse, would like a car or a huge ring for our aniversery more?
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8. Why are you answering this question? I told you not to. Are you stupid? If you are reading this, you might as well just answer the questions I just asked.
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Reflecting on the Topic
Have you met a lawyer before? What did you think of him/her? Why?
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(I had to do that him/her thing so as not to appear genderist. Also, I put more lines there to make you feel you should write more even though the question should take the same amount of space the ones above did.)
Do you have a connection to this passage? Why or why not? If so, explain when.
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(In my opinion, you should just say, "No I do not have a connection." See? You don't have to writ as much as you would if you did have a connection. Or if you're a bit cheeky."No I do not have a connection because I am not a loopy wack-job.")
And another fine episode of Randomness at Random goes down the drain.
Awesome. It is very stupid, but I love your Randomness at Random. it is so cool. I do not work on my blog much at home, so I am way behind. Does Mr. Baatz really let you do all of these things at school? Mrs. Walden won't let me do anything that doesn't have to do with something she says is appropriate for school work, and something that is worthwhile. So (sigh,) I can only do things that Mrs. Walden wants me to do.
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