Notice: If you have noticed this notice reward yourself. (See Randomness at Random #9) Anyway, from now on our main character's name is Hue. As in Huey. Not 'hewy' like that's a bunch of hewy. But Hue as in Huey as in the name as in (Here's a little pronunciation for you) Heew-ee N. (The N. means name, not noun) The name of the main charter in this story from now on. It's a cool name. Now to the story.
Randomness at Random #10 Port Potty, not Port-O-Potty
P.S. Sorry for all the sort-of crude humor and potty jokes.
Huey, or Hue for short, is the guy's life you will be eavesdropping on today. You see, Huey didn't have a bathroom in his house. And as you might imagine, that is very inconvenient for him. So, on Friday, Hue went to buy a bathroom for his house. But seeing as he didn't have a car, only a bike, he thought it might be better to shop online. Http://http://www.toiletsforcheap/.com . This sit seemed a little more cheap than classy, featuring: the box toilet, so he decided to try another one. http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/ was a little to sci-fi for him. http://www.mypootin seemed like a reasonable place to shop, so he clicked on it. Many wonderful choices popped up (sorry) or should I say pooped up, on-screen for Hue to choose from. The classic fuzzy seat, the outhouse, the porcelain express, the hole, the self cleaning, and the wheelchair accessible kind.
But the one that perky Huey's curiosity the most was the Port-O-Potty. Those big greenish-blueish Waste Management type. Of course he'd spruce it up with a "Home Sweet Port-O-Potty" sign and other features. He picked 1 day shipping he was so excited. Plus, I'd save a lot of trips to the gas station bathroom if he got it a few days earlier. Once it came UPS, (it was a big box)he hauled it to the entrance hallway where he had cleaned out a nice closet to put it in. He even put a welcome mat outside the closet door leading to the Port-O-Potty. After a few days, he decided to get another one for the upstairs master bath. After more success, he decided to get 2 more, one for the guest bathroom and one for the backyard. The one in the backyard had a birdbath out side it to wash your hands in. That Hue was pretty clever. All the parties Hue hosted got lots of comments on his new Port-O-Potty bathrooms. He wasn't sure if they were compliments or not, but he got more just to please everybody if there were compliments. A few months after their first arrival, it was September now, all 9 plastic toilets got little (please excuse the gross humor ahead) toilet mints and air fresheners to complement the nice stinky aroma that hung around the bathrooms. Finally, a year after the toilets arrival, all 17 of them, as that was how many there were now, got there contents pumped out. The pump guy said a cleaning was long overdue. Obviously the health department got involved. All they did was send a lecturing letter to Hue and that was the end of it. Most of Hue's friends like to joke about his Port-O-Potties. Some called him obsessed, others called him a collector of all things Lu. (If you don't know what the Lu is, it's another name for bathroom, most commonly used in England. Refer to the "Skip to my Lu" song for more information. But that is exactly what Hue did. He started collecting Port-O-Potties. He moved to another house, and turned his house into a museum of all things Lu, even though all he had were Port-O-Potties, it sounded better. Once his collection grew to 97, he decided to make it a museum. It cost 2$ to enter. There was a small food court for eating lunch. But most of them had already spilled theirs, or weren't hungry anymore. At potty 247 he renamed his facility "Port Potty." It was now a local attraction. Once Hue died, he left all 786 Port-O-Potties to his eldest son Gordon who sold it to Waste Management as a showroom for their products. The End
I promise the posts to come wont be so gruesome and disgusting.
No comments:
Post a Comment